Avoiding Conflict is Unavoidable
By Kristin Hodgkinson and Wendy R. Weidenbaum
For many of us, delivering tough or bad news is difficult because it’s in our nature to avoid conflict. When you find yourself in a leadership position, often times avoiding conflict is in fact unavoidable. Delivering tough news about poor employee performance is an ongoing part of the job. Follow these tips to learn how to deliver news the best way for you and your employee.
Don’t Procrastinate
When an issue arises, address it in a timely manner. While it is uncomfortable to dive right in, and it may seem easier to put the task off, handling the problem as soon as it presents itself will help the employee gain insights into her performance and how others may be perceiving her, and may prevent the creation of a toxic work environment. By letting an issue fester, you risk it evolving into a larger one, which will lead to the cycle of continued avoidance. One caveat…be in control of your emotions. When you show up from an objective place versus an emotional one, the conversation will be easier for you and your employee. Most employees realize when their performance is off. It is usually a relief to have the conversation so they know what behaviors need to be changed.
Be Mindful of the Medium
When giving bad news, the best way is a face-to-face conversation for those in the same office or on videoconference for those who are in a different location. Delivering bad news to an employee through email may be viewed as disrespectful and can ding your credibility as a manager. If the employee is in a different location and does not have his own office, arrange a private place for him to videoconference with you. Whether in the same office or not, let the employee know in advance that you would like to meet with him to have a discussion. Be sure to give him an idea of what the topic of conversation will be to minimize his anxiety and discomfort, while giving him time to prepare himself. Also, it is important when having a discussion in person or on videoconference to be mindful of your body language. Maintain eye contact, speak clearly, and don’t close your body off by crossing your arms. Do everything you can to convey openness to help put your employee at ease. Be sensitive to different time zones as well. Tough conversations are best done at a convenient time for both and not at the end of the day for the employee.
Be Transparent and Thorough
Before delivering tough news, think of your employee and how she will react to the news. Be prepared for her potential reactions and rebuttals. When you deliver tough news, always be clear and get directly to the point in a concise way that provides specific and observable behaviors. Provide her with all the necessary information such as: 1) what the issue is, 2) how it will affect the employee, the team, or the client, and 3) what to expect in the future. Listen actively and answer any and all questions your employee may have, because it is your responsibility as a manager to hear your employee’s thoughts. Do not get defensive. At the end of the conversation, sum up the action plan that was agreed upon. Ask your employee to send you an email summarizing the agreements. You may be tempted to lighten the load for your employee by sugar-coating it. In the end, giving her false hope about the situation will only hurt her moving forward and may impact the performance of the team. Be honest, transparent, and thorough.
Direct reports will make judgments about your leadership and how you handle tough situations. By being a fair and consistent leader, you will become a manager who gains their appreciation and respect.